SUPERYOU: KEEPING STRONG WHEN YOURE LEFT BEHIND

(when  im taking a break from you it most likely means i found someone and when that relatiosnhip ends im gonna find you and check up on you and see if you changed.) 

- BRITTNEY NDLOVU

I hate breaks..I HATE BREAKS.. they hurt. and the qoute above me is how 95% of people take relationship breaks.

1. Breaks are one word away from "up".
2. Its like playing Patty Cake without the cake part or baking part. You try singing it that way and tell me how that feels!... I will wait for it... EXACTLY.
3. Isn't the reason for a break is so that you can focus on the bad side of the person? Am I right or wrong? So why be with someone that only wants to focus on your bad?

I could never do that, you would have to really put it out there to me that you REALLY want to stay in the over crowded bottom(You basically put it out there you don't give a flying a duck about me). Until then im focusing on your GOOD.

(THIS IS IMPORTANT)

So when this break(up) does happen you, have to go through the usual rules of: the don’t call, the don't text, and especially do not send emails, because if you do your gonna get back a  response from the other side saying, "I miss you too but we need this", AND that response you NEVER  feed into it. Its fake and they don't mean it and it'll leave you in unnecessary hopes, or you don't get a response at all. You are only belittling yourself. As hurt as you are, and as painful as the situation seems, you also must walk away to regroup. Step outside of yourself to see the situation for what it is. Hey that person may have just done you the biggest favor.

Wait a minute though, let me really think on this, maybe, if I actually sit down and deep think what a break(up) can do then maybe its not as bad as I thought it was.
   I have been the one left behind, so I can say:

• It is true it is a good thing to take a break away from relationships. It can help you to gain back what you once lost and that can mean your priorities, standards, something that you changed in yourself while with them.
•  Sometimes a good bye is the best form of tough love, and in the end you may have opened a new door to a better relationship down the road with your partner. If it was meant to be it will be, but you must walk away first to find out.(scary)
•  I guess I have to Remember, distance makes the heart grow fonder. It may be the best remedy to rekindle a love that was once dismal, or it may make you both stronger, wiser, healthier people.
• Or open a door to a new love. 

Remember that song by Janet Jackson-Lets wait awhile "You cant rush Love"

"Sometimes closing the door on the past and walking away from the present is the only way to get to the future."- Brittney Ndlovu

Honest truth,

Maybe I care too much, but I am not ashamed to say "I need you." I will announce it, if you change me in a great way I'll say " I need you" and saying the word "need" in this world, is saying you are weak.. Im not saying that im weak If I tell you i need you, do not take it lightly. I do everything I can to never have to depend on anyone, to never show weakness, and if I say that i need you, it means I am trusting you to catch me when I fall. im simply stating you are so good in my life that I would need you in certain parts of my life. Not All. You have something that I cherish and would love to have around me. I need it. I love feeling needed," I am human and i need to be loved(The Smiths)." I would feel hurt if my friends said they are appreicative and thankful that im here but to say that they NEED me (because they dont want to sound weak or be seen weak) is BS. Then why did you choose me to be with you. Somehow you thought in your mind "Omg she is what i need, because she brings a certain essential to my life. Lets be friends to the end." im not gonna change, this world is too heartless. If my caring words make me look weak, then I feel sad for you,  I know who I am.

with love,

BRITTNEY NDLOVU

Do you appreciate your life or the little things

 

Everybody loves cuddles from the biggest gangster to the smallest child. 
We get so much love when we are children. 
Years pass, the love changes, it's not unconditional from everyone any more. 
Conditions come with the amount of love and support. 
You make friends, they will grow to love you, but not give you as much affection as when you were a child. 
You meet someone who wants to be with you, close to you, be your friend, become your lover. 
Time for hugs, comfort and beautiful moments. 
You are loved again, not that your family or friends ever fell out of love with you. 
It's just different now, you are supposed to be starting your own family. 
Somebody to share food with... Even though you hate sharing food because you are hungry lol. 
Another soul to exchange stories with, company that can't be rival by any other. 
Seek Out love, even though you have been hurt, you know that you don't want to be single. 
We all want and need affection, not merely sexual encounters. 
Sex is cool but everything else that should come with it, makes up the love of life itself. 
The late nights curled up together... Complaining that your partner is freezing but they only went to the toilet and you were happy, that they put their cold feet on your legs, because you are excited to be with someone special. 
You are back in each other's arms. 
The embrace comes with a reassuring kiss. 
Everything will be alright now. 
Pulling you closer, holding you tighter, hoping to never let go. 
You don't want them to go, you can't wait for the day to end so you can start cuddling again.

SAY NO! Without saying no

If you're sometimes too polite or "nice", Like I am, then saying NO can be difficult at times, leaving you frustrated or even defeated.  I don't know why it's a very hard thing to do, why is saying yes always coming out of my mouth? I'm personally struggling  with it. I think it comes from just not wanting to disappoint people, fearing their reaction, or even wanting to challenge yourself. I've come to realize that saying yes at times doesn't put me in a good situation. For a quick example I'll make plans to hangout with my Mister, and I'll get a phone call from another friend, I would tell my friend that I can't talk long, I have plans. So my friend and I are talking and they talk for hours and I can't bear to tell them that I got to go so this ruins the time I should be hanging out with my mister. My voice wasn't firm, my word NO wasn't strong, leaving my mister upset and me frustrated with myself. Another moment where a guy would ask me if he can have my number. I would say I don't give my number out and the guy would push the compliment button and I'm drowned in "oh, your so beautiful" compliments. One side of my brain I'm getting all the reasons to say no, and on the other side I'm getting the, 'I can't be too mean, let me be a little nicer.' And by the end of it all, I left the guy not with my number but with a understanding that if a run in happens again, there is a possibility of handing my number over. I felt defeated and miserable. Why can I not say NO? Good thing it's a new day and I'm wanting to break out of this!!
So today I want to teach you guys that is reading this and myself How to say NO without saying no, or how to be firm in your voice with a smile.

We have to get to the bottom of this, so why do we say yes automatically? : is it their appearance? Your fear of disappointing people? If I say NO he won't like me, if I say NO they'll think I'm too busy for them. For me I have this belief that my body language means everything. No matter how soft my voice is my hands is telling you a NO. Sadly no one cares about body language lol, they care what that mouth says. Or that I can make it through it I can do everything, put as much weight on me and watch me handle it(typical Aries mind) I'll never disappoint you. THIS IS NOT THE WAY TO THINK!  Stop thinking of worse case scenario. I almost have to stop trying to please other people. Think of it as your loving yourself when you say no, it's not the end of the world, there will be more situations that you can yes to comfortably. 

Be polite when you give your answer: one of the key things that I have been trying to use, that helps give me space to think is saying, let me get back to you on that. If a something comes up where someone asks me 'hey Britt can we hangout?' Or 'can we talk tonight?' I don't have to say YES and ruin in it later with a 'uummm sorry,' and I don't have to do a flat out NO. Saying I'll get back to you gives me more time to sort out my day. And if after you give your answer and its a NO and they ask you why? You don't have to give a whole detail reason. Just say it's personal, or I'm just not feeling it this time. I like that better, since I'm really nice and don't like to seem unapproachable.

Be confident, you are WORTH IT:  I get amazed and have respect when I see some women, get ask to do something and they say "NO not right now." I'm in my head when I hear this like wow, they know their worth. They aren't being rude but assertive and yes I wish I was like that. I know I can't be as assertive as them but I can be some what of it.  You have to be confident in your self, it's your time your money your skills your energy your everything that they are asking. If I know who I am which is a fun loyal loving ride or die caring person then I'm gonna give it to those that deserve me in a good time frame so I won't seem all over the place, and lose trust. Keyword is deserve, don't give it to some person you ran into at a grocery store or a no good person. It's easy to say NO to a stranger. Remember those that respect you will understand.

If you're reading this and you have tips on how you let your yes mean yes and your no mean no, please share 
If you're reading this and you would like to share your experience and how you over came it please do! 
 I hope this little helpful list helps you and others. I'm definitely learning while typing and I'll continue to use this in any future event, so I can make a difference in me.

GIRLS!!! Losing your Man's TRUST

You got caught. Your man found you at the wrong place at the wrong time. You cheated on your man. You crumbled the clean creased TRUST paper? Whatever it is, your man is upset and he isn't planning on leaving you but he has lost total TRUST.  Girl.. Wipe your eyes, finish your wine and put some lipstick on, because you are about to rescue your  relationship. Losing your loved ones trust is a distress,  and trying to gain it back isn't fast at all or guaranteed a key back to them.  Even in that case, at least  you can say 'you tried'.  First thing is first:

1. You messed up, you have to ADMIT it.  Be honest with yourself. You took a clear piece of paper, grabbed it real quick and crumbled it.  Find the root of the problem ask yourself questions so you'll know if this relationship is worth saving. The one with the regret has to forgive herself if she wants to move past it.
2. There is no time machine. What happened, happened. But you can’t let yourselves get stuck in the past without sacrificing any happiness in your future. Trust has to be rebuilt but you have to agree to rebuild it together. No matter how many times he doesn't  answer your calls, leave a voicemail, text him. Never stop. He is watching your efforts.
3. Stay truthful. Call him when you say you will and be where say you will be. Be up front with your plans and communicate any changes as you go along. Keeping him in the loop will ease the stress in your relationship and make a stronger bond between you.
4. Don't do it again If you are honestly ashamed of your actions, and want nothing more than to earn back your loved ones trust and rebuild your relationship. Some people think giving him sex right off the back will work.. HELL NO, put your working boots on. This will require major changes in your life to convince your partner you’re serious about repairing the damage you’ve done.

Regardless of how much remorse you feel or how willing you are to change, once your man has seen your downfall and lost trust in you, you will endure a period of sneers and jeers. So be it. Girls you remember when your man was late coming home or didn't text you all day. His efforts to win you back did work, but you will always remember what he did wrong. So understand. Self-doubt may eat at you, but if you work hard and improve, the sneers and jeers will eventually stop. The betrayal will be forgotten by him and you will begin to notice that you aren't such a deadbeat after all. So again, wipe your tears away, don't pour anymore wine, reapply some lipstick and go rescue your relationship. Good luck <3

inspirational day

All bout being good to you. That old saying "be good to yourself so you can be good to others","Beauty is only skin deep." Those are true
So instead.of wondering what outfit and makeup to buy next, plan on an encouraging visit to a friend. When your going through lifes pain, make peace with it and be successful to get out of it. It all ends with you becoming better. Be thankful that you encourage yourself to be a stronger person everyday. take some insight you gained and help others get back up on their feet. Someone is gonna help you whether its  small or big the thought the action is what truly counts these days. Be a beautiful person inside and out. You're making other people smile.

#healthymommy

Being a young mom involves keeping in shape. Not stunning celebrity shape but healthy and happy.   It's hard right? With being a student that's 2+ hours, an employee that 15+hours a week, and being a mom that's never ending hours how do you find time to workout and be healthy when really you probably had a energy drink or soda and you're planning to call Papa johns any moment because  you can't fathom the thought of "cooking something up."  Amen.  That has been me many times. Don't feel guilty girls, you can put little workouts in your daily life.
Like for one, bathroom use. Even in your own bathroom when using, SQUAT while peeing.
Sitting down looking at your device, do some LEG LIFTS.
Speed walk when walking anywhere. Always choose your veggies.
Don't have too much bread, eat everything on that burger but the buns. It's still yummy!
Water is you best friend!!! I actually lost weight and saw difference in my body and skin by switching from soda/soft drinks to water. This is for you to be healthy and happy. Our kids need us. So let's catch up to them.  #healthymommy

#whenawomanloves

#whenawomanloves

What makes that MAN, so irresistible? The one that starts the fire in you that you once had.  How can you explain undeniable chemistry? When every bone in your body wants them. Attraction has the power to somehow block all your common sense but then that love chemistry opens up new common sense. With those two put together, you want what you want, and nothing is going to stop you. It becomes a compulsion that you physically can't control. Whatever has happened in the past no longer matters, all you can think about is "here and now" and future.

In many situations love is often confused with obsession. Wanting what you can no longer have, trying to re-live what you once had. You are simply incapable of controlling your behavior. All common sense becomes alive. This fire is growing in you. Making you into this welcoming woman. How is it possible that this certain man can do this? To you,"the no man will control me" woman. When there is something there you can't explain; how can you just make it go away? How do you let go of something that has such a strong grip in your life.

Even if you do part away, you never forget. You look to find that same chemistry with someone else. The truth is that you will never find the same chemistry, because it will never be him. I seen how two people can go their separate ways, have other relationships, get married, get divorced, have children, move away, etc still they never forget the person who started that fire in them. Years and years can go by, life changing incidences occur, and “that feeling” is still there. How can you explain that? What does it say about that person? Were they always "the one?" Or are you just repeatedly re-living the growing fire that he started.