SuperYOU: Being strong when you're feeling weak

Hello there,
For those that are reading this post, thank you for visiting.  I'm always posting on Facebook and Instagram. So for those that click and read thank you so much.
Ok let's get in the subject of this post.

Being strong when you're feeling weak. 

Becoming mentally and emotionally strong isn't something that happens overnight.  When life has more downs then ups you feel like  a wreck, like you feel depressed or feel like quitting or just filling up your gas tank and driving off to another world where no one can find you. Those feelings are so real, but sadly if you don't have that full tank gas or can't leave your place for too long. You're stuck thinking of any ugly thoughts about yourself and what you went through.

That feeling I know so well. In the past I was a working mom and now since I had my second child the work world has gotten difficult to get back into. Not that I don't want to work, it's just hard to get a job. Year by year employers want AA degree, bilingual, etc. so much requirements and experience that it gets pretty bad. 

Which leads me to the subject feeling weak. I personally feel weak when I can't provide as much for me and my kids, or personal relationships get "IFFY" during my trials, or someone that was once your strength is no longer there with you. We learn in life to be strong but, there are so much obstacles in life that can make people feel weak in the cruel world.

*side note I hate people that are iffy. You are either in or out. Don't waste time. Time is more precious then other people's IFFY thoughts. IFFY means to be undecided not sure of the outcome. Causing some people to stray when they see bad and come around when they see good*

I'm the person who hates feeling weak and will quickly put myself in a situation that I can control and leave the reality until I can handle it. 

If you are like that. We best know that that isn't the route to go. I have found a method that makes me feel strong. 

1. Don't hide from the truth.  If you're going to overcome an obstacle, you need to be able to take it head on. It's hard but it's better then lying to yourself about what's going on  and trying to escape it. That my friend will only end up hurting you in the end. Be honest with yourself about your flaws.
2. Find someone who needs you. Being weak means feeling useless. But when someone calls out for you because they know your perfect for (e.g. Solving their issues)  you don't feel useless. You're needed. Surround yourself with someone that is in greater need of you to be strong for them. It can be your kids, friend, maybe someone you will soon meet in life.  Just knowing someone wakes up thinking "wow what would (your name) do in this situation." And they call you up.  That person is yearning for your thoughts, your actions, you are their light to go to.

That makes me feel good personally. My kids are always my reason to be strong, but that isn't enough at times. You can know your worth but it doesn't mean anything when people are not giving in. Having that special person say "don't leave me." "Help me you are the only one." Can make anyone feel STRONG.  A special person understanding you and going through the trials with you can make you feel STRONG.

Remember you can not feel COMPLETELY STRONG unless you have that special person(s). You can only protect your front but with that special person(s)  you can both lookout for each others back and front.

I hope what I shared helps you all.
Have a great week!

                                   With love,
                                     Brittney

SAY NO! Without saying no

If you're sometimes too polite or "nice", Like I am, then saying NO can be difficult at times, leaving you frustrated or even defeated.  I don't know why it's a very hard thing to do, why is saying yes always coming out of my mouth? I'm personally struggling  with it. I think it comes from just not wanting to disappoint people, fearing their reaction, or even wanting to challenge yourself. I've come to realize that saying yes at times doesn't put me in a good situation. For a quick example I'll make plans to hangout with my Mister, and I'll get a phone call from another friend, I would tell my friend that I can't talk long, I have plans. So my friend and I are talking and they talk for hours and I can't bear to tell them that I got to go so this ruins the time I should be hanging out with my mister. My voice wasn't firm, my word NO wasn't strong, leaving my mister upset and me frustrated with myself. Another moment where a guy would ask me if he can have my number. I would say I don't give my number out and the guy would push the compliment button and I'm drowned in "oh, your so beautiful" compliments. One side of my brain I'm getting all the reasons to say no, and on the other side I'm getting the, 'I can't be too mean, let me be a little nicer.' And by the end of it all, I left the guy not with my number but with a understanding that if a run in happens again, there is a possibility of handing my number over. I felt defeated and miserable. Why can I not say NO? Good thing it's a new day and I'm wanting to break out of this!!
So today I want to teach you guys that is reading this and myself How to say NO without saying no, or how to be firm in your voice with a smile.

We have to get to the bottom of this, so why do we say yes automatically? : is it their appearance? Your fear of disappointing people? If I say NO he won't like me, if I say NO they'll think I'm too busy for them. For me I have this belief that my body language means everything. No matter how soft my voice is my hands is telling you a NO. Sadly no one cares about body language lol, they care what that mouth says. Or that I can make it through it I can do everything, put as much weight on me and watch me handle it(typical Aries mind) I'll never disappoint you. THIS IS NOT THE WAY TO THINK!  Stop thinking of worse case scenario. I almost have to stop trying to please other people. Think of it as your loving yourself when you say no, it's not the end of the world, there will be more situations that you can yes to comfortably. 

Be polite when you give your answer: one of the key things that I have been trying to use, that helps give me space to think is saying, let me get back to you on that. If a something comes up where someone asks me 'hey Britt can we hangout?' Or 'can we talk tonight?' I don't have to say YES and ruin in it later with a 'uummm sorry,' and I don't have to do a flat out NO. Saying I'll get back to you gives me more time to sort out my day. And if after you give your answer and its a NO and they ask you why? You don't have to give a whole detail reason. Just say it's personal, or I'm just not feeling it this time. I like that better, since I'm really nice and don't like to seem unapproachable.

Be confident, you are WORTH IT:  I get amazed and have respect when I see some women, get ask to do something and they say "NO not right now." I'm in my head when I hear this like wow, they know their worth. They aren't being rude but assertive and yes I wish I was like that. I know I can't be as assertive as them but I can be some what of it.  You have to be confident in your self, it's your time your money your skills your energy your everything that they are asking. If I know who I am which is a fun loyal loving ride or die caring person then I'm gonna give it to those that deserve me in a good time frame so I won't seem all over the place, and lose trust. Keyword is deserve, don't give it to some person you ran into at a grocery store or a no good person. It's easy to say NO to a stranger. Remember those that respect you will understand.

If you're reading this and you have tips on how you let your yes mean yes and your no mean no, please share 
If you're reading this and you would like to share your experience and how you over came it please do! 
 I hope this little helpful list helps you and others. I'm definitely learning while typing and I'll continue to use this in any future event, so I can make a difference in me.

GIRLS!!! Losing your Man's TRUST

You got caught. Your man found you at the wrong place at the wrong time. You cheated on your man. You crumbled the clean creased TRUST paper? Whatever it is, your man is upset and he isn't planning on leaving you but he has lost total TRUST.  Girl.. Wipe your eyes, finish your wine and put some lipstick on, because you are about to rescue your  relationship. Losing your loved ones trust is a distress,  and trying to gain it back isn't fast at all or guaranteed a key back to them.  Even in that case, at least  you can say 'you tried'.  First thing is first:

1. You messed up, you have to ADMIT it.  Be honest with yourself. You took a clear piece of paper, grabbed it real quick and crumbled it.  Find the root of the problem ask yourself questions so you'll know if this relationship is worth saving. The one with the regret has to forgive herself if she wants to move past it.
2. There is no time machine. What happened, happened. But you can’t let yourselves get stuck in the past without sacrificing any happiness in your future. Trust has to be rebuilt but you have to agree to rebuild it together. No matter how many times he doesn't  answer your calls, leave a voicemail, text him. Never stop. He is watching your efforts.
3. Stay truthful. Call him when you say you will and be where say you will be. Be up front with your plans and communicate any changes as you go along. Keeping him in the loop will ease the stress in your relationship and make a stronger bond between you.
4. Don't do it again If you are honestly ashamed of your actions, and want nothing more than to earn back your loved ones trust and rebuild your relationship. Some people think giving him sex right off the back will work.. HELL NO, put your working boots on. This will require major changes in your life to convince your partner you’re serious about repairing the damage you’ve done.

Regardless of how much remorse you feel or how willing you are to change, once your man has seen your downfall and lost trust in you, you will endure a period of sneers and jeers. So be it. Girls you remember when your man was late coming home or didn't text you all day. His efforts to win you back did work, but you will always remember what he did wrong. So understand. Self-doubt may eat at you, but if you work hard and improve, the sneers and jeers will eventually stop. The betrayal will be forgotten by him and you will begin to notice that you aren't such a deadbeat after all. So again, wipe your tears away, don't pour anymore wine, reapply some lipstick and go rescue your relationship. Good luck <3

inspirational day

All bout being good to you. That old saying "be good to yourself so you can be good to others","Beauty is only skin deep." Those are true
So instead.of wondering what outfit and makeup to buy next, plan on an encouraging visit to a friend. When your going through lifes pain, make peace with it and be successful to get out of it. It all ends with you becoming better. Be thankful that you encourage yourself to be a stronger person everyday. take some insight you gained and help others get back up on their feet. Someone is gonna help you whether its  small or big the thought the action is what truly counts these days. Be a beautiful person inside and out. You're making other people smile.

#healthymommy

Being a young mom involves keeping in shape. Not stunning celebrity shape but healthy and happy.   It's hard right? With being a student that's 2+ hours, an employee that 15+hours a week, and being a mom that's never ending hours how do you find time to workout and be healthy when really you probably had a energy drink or soda and you're planning to call Papa johns any moment because  you can't fathom the thought of "cooking something up."  Amen.  That has been me many times. Don't feel guilty girls, you can put little workouts in your daily life.
Like for one, bathroom use. Even in your own bathroom when using, SQUAT while peeing.
Sitting down looking at your device, do some LEG LIFTS.
Speed walk when walking anywhere. Always choose your veggies.
Don't have too much bread, eat everything on that burger but the buns. It's still yummy!
Water is you best friend!!! I actually lost weight and saw difference in my body and skin by switching from soda/soft drinks to water. This is for you to be healthy and happy. Our kids need us. So let's catch up to them.  #healthymommy

#whenawomanloves

#whenawomanloves

What makes that MAN, so irresistible? The one that starts the fire in you that you once had.  How can you explain undeniable chemistry? When every bone in your body wants them. Attraction has the power to somehow block all your common sense but then that love chemistry opens up new common sense. With those two put together, you want what you want, and nothing is going to stop you. It becomes a compulsion that you physically can't control. Whatever has happened in the past no longer matters, all you can think about is "here and now" and future.

In many situations love is often confused with obsession. Wanting what you can no longer have, trying to re-live what you once had. You are simply incapable of controlling your behavior. All common sense becomes alive. This fire is growing in you. Making you into this welcoming woman. How is it possible that this certain man can do this? To you,"the no man will control me" woman. When there is something there you can't explain; how can you just make it go away? How do you let go of something that has such a strong grip in your life.

Even if you do part away, you never forget. You look to find that same chemistry with someone else. The truth is that you will never find the same chemistry, because it will never be him. I seen how two people can go their separate ways, have other relationships, get married, get divorced, have children, move away, etc still they never forget the person who started that fire in them. Years and years can go by, life changing incidences occur, and “that feeling” is still there. How can you explain that? What does it say about that person? Were they always "the one?" Or are you just repeatedly re-living the growing fire that he started. 

Hola! Welcome to my blog

Here's a little info about muah!

My name is Brittney, I'm a 23 year old. I am African American, born in the states (Cali!) my dad is African and my mother is from philly!  I am a mother of 2 children, my daughter Khlo'e age 4 and my son Kannon age 2.  I have a doggy, a small one named Maple syrup :) 

So what's cool about me?

My life being a single mom, sacrificing school and work.My experience has made me want to share with you on here how all these issues lead me to be a very insightful and creative strong person I have become now. I am not going to be on here sharing just about me n life but also different hobbies I have gotten into, like advice, fashion, hair, kids,dogs.


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