SuperYOU: What you need to look for in a partner(Sunday Recap)

(Nobody said being in a relationship was going to be easy, but its up to you find out if its going to be worth it and if that is a long thought process, then they ARE probably worth it)

-BRITTNEY NDLOVU

I hope you can relate:

I can not stress this enough to myself . I am at an age where I  need a man that is striving for excellence in every aspect of his life.  I need someone who can give me a mental stimulation, a conversation. A man that is family oriented, now wait!  Any  person can love a family and be around them, but it takes a man who can be a leader, a provider and a giver for the lives entrusted to him. I don't have a problem being submissive to a respectable man. key word respectable. I need someone who is sensitive enough to understand what I go through as a woman but is strong enough to keep in dealing with me and the relationship. What can you do for me that I can't do for myself? I have to ask that to  every guy that comes my way. If you are not fitting that description of what I need  and you are here for the sex, money and blow weed while broke then please go and in time MAYBE you will have what I need. Until then I'm growing my self and my household.  I need a man who has built a valued home by his self  (e.g. you had a family once, OK so now you're divorced and that's fine,  long term relationship OK now you guys are not together that's fine you were a amateur business man and you're first business went down the drain OK  again that's fine. Did you learn your lesson? are you improving are you going to continue on your blue print? of course there are more details into this but i wont get into it because its a lot to consider)  and is now building an empire, well most empires wasn't built alone so of course it will be us building together. My life doesn't call for party, procrastination, empty friendships or prideful people that think they are too good for people, you know who you are the ones that never see or admit their wrong doings or selfish pride, but quick to call people on their bluff and drop them. I don't have time for men like that. I'm not about perfection .Realistic, loyal, patient but DRIVEN wins the race. I'm not looking for this man, he will find me. And when I say empire I mean this

Future

Family

A Home

Marriage

I've been dreaming of this empire for years and it took me awhile to finally understand the blue print. Now im on track, I'm building an empire for my household and if a man wants to join in then that's better but if not, then its all good. Empires have been built alone too. My goals will be accomplished with or without you. period.

Im gonna show my kids everything in life is possible.

LIFE GOES ON WITH OR WITHOUT YOU <3

That's what I had to learn, the 3 c's and that is to be Confident, Comfortable and Caring. To know that I may always be too much of something for someone, doesn't bother me anymore. I love me and I love to care and to round out my edges, to lose my uniqueness that could be beneficial to someone else  or make me feel less then who I was.. Is out of the question.  And if they care and love me then they should also benefit. Right?! It should be this in and out effect: I got no candy you fill it up to the best you can and vice versa. No one is left out! I know letting go of  a relationship  can bring in the rainy clouds and countless Resses butter cups, :whisper voice:I will not say how many i have had. lol. Seriously though its really sad, but as a couple, if you are not doing the 3C's together , being Confident in each other, Comfortable with each other, or Caring for each other then <3 peace , love and chicken grease. If we return back its probably because we thought hard and said NO MORE BS , LETS CLIMB TO THE TOP TOGETHER. If not then its okay there are many people out there who love your uniqueness and how you deal out of problems and how you have fun and keep smiling through the wars and success! If they love what they see then they will stay by your side. It takes time to build this relationship and its worth it. Until then the days were good<3

With Love,

Brittney

Men you take so much in, let the woman hold your hand and guide you back to the top. 

Just to guide not to take over you.

Do you appreciate your life or the little things

 

Everybody loves cuddles from the biggest gangster to the smallest child. 
We get so much love when we are children. 
Years pass, the love changes, it's not unconditional from everyone any more. 
Conditions come with the amount of love and support. 
You make friends, they will grow to love you, but not give you as much affection as when you were a child. 
You meet someone who wants to be with you, close to you, be your friend, become your lover. 
Time for hugs, comfort and beautiful moments. 
You are loved again, not that your family or friends ever fell out of love with you. 
It's just different now, you are supposed to be starting your own family. 
Somebody to share food with... Even though you hate sharing food because you are hungry lol. 
Another soul to exchange stories with, company that can't be rival by any other. 
Seek Out love, even though you have been hurt, you know that you don't want to be single. 
We all want and need affection, not merely sexual encounters. 
Sex is cool but everything else that should come with it, makes up the love of life itself. 
The late nights curled up together... Complaining that your partner is freezing but they only went to the toilet and you were happy, that they put their cold feet on your legs, because you are excited to be with someone special. 
You are back in each other's arms. 
The embrace comes with a reassuring kiss. 
Everything will be alright now. 
Pulling you closer, holding you tighter, hoping to never let go. 
You don't want them to go, you can't wait for the day to end so you can start cuddling again.

SuperYOU: Being strong when you're feeling weak

Hello there,
For those that are reading this post, thank you for visiting.  I'm always posting on Facebook and Instagram. So for those that click and read thank you so much.
Ok let's get in the subject of this post.

Being strong when you're feeling weak. 

Becoming mentally and emotionally strong isn't something that happens overnight.  When life has more downs then ups you feel like  a wreck, like you feel depressed or feel like quitting or just filling up your gas tank and driving off to another world where no one can find you. Those feelings are so real, but sadly if you don't have that full tank gas or can't leave your place for too long. You're stuck thinking of any ugly thoughts about yourself and what you went through.

That feeling I know so well. In the past I was a working mom and now since I had my second child the work world has gotten difficult to get back into. Not that I don't want to work, it's just hard to get a job. Year by year employers want AA degree, bilingual, etc. so much requirements and experience that it gets pretty bad. 

Which leads me to the subject feeling weak. I personally feel weak when I can't provide as much for me and my kids, or personal relationships get "IFFY" during my trials, or someone that was once your strength is no longer there with you. We learn in life to be strong but, there are so much obstacles in life that can make people feel weak in the cruel world.

*side note I hate people that are iffy. You are either in or out. Don't waste time. Time is more precious then other people's IFFY thoughts. IFFY means to be undecided not sure of the outcome. Causing some people to stray when they see bad and come around when they see good*

I'm the person who hates feeling weak and will quickly put myself in a situation that I can control and leave the reality until I can handle it. 

If you are like that. We best know that that isn't the route to go. I have found a method that makes me feel strong. 

1. Don't hide from the truth.  If you're going to overcome an obstacle, you need to be able to take it head on. It's hard but it's better then lying to yourself about what's going on  and trying to escape it. That my friend will only end up hurting you in the end. Be honest with yourself about your flaws.
2. Find someone who needs you. Being weak means feeling useless. But when someone calls out for you because they know your perfect for (e.g. Solving their issues)  you don't feel useless. You're needed. Surround yourself with someone that is in greater need of you to be strong for them. It can be your kids, friend, maybe someone you will soon meet in life.  Just knowing someone wakes up thinking "wow what would (your name) do in this situation." And they call you up.  That person is yearning for your thoughts, your actions, you are their light to go to.

That makes me feel good personally. My kids are always my reason to be strong, but that isn't enough at times. You can know your worth but it doesn't mean anything when people are not giving in. Having that special person say "don't leave me." "Help me you are the only one." Can make anyone feel STRONG.  A special person understanding you and going through the trials with you can make you feel STRONG.

Remember you can not feel COMPLETELY STRONG unless you have that special person(s). You can only protect your front but with that special person(s)  you can both lookout for each others back and front.

I hope what I shared helps you all.
Have a great week!

                                   With love,
                                     Brittney

GIRLS!!! Losing your Man's TRUST

You got caught. Your man found you at the wrong place at the wrong time. You cheated on your man. You crumbled the clean creased TRUST paper? Whatever it is, your man is upset and he isn't planning on leaving you but he has lost total TRUST.  Girl.. Wipe your eyes, finish your wine and put some lipstick on, because you are about to rescue your  relationship. Losing your loved ones trust is a distress,  and trying to gain it back isn't fast at all or guaranteed a key back to them.  Even in that case, at least  you can say 'you tried'.  First thing is first:

1. You messed up, you have to ADMIT it.  Be honest with yourself. You took a clear piece of paper, grabbed it real quick and crumbled it.  Find the root of the problem ask yourself questions so you'll know if this relationship is worth saving. The one with the regret has to forgive herself if she wants to move past it.
2. There is no time machine. What happened, happened. But you can’t let yourselves get stuck in the past without sacrificing any happiness in your future. Trust has to be rebuilt but you have to agree to rebuild it together. No matter how many times he doesn't  answer your calls, leave a voicemail, text him. Never stop. He is watching your efforts.
3. Stay truthful. Call him when you say you will and be where say you will be. Be up front with your plans and communicate any changes as you go along. Keeping him in the loop will ease the stress in your relationship and make a stronger bond between you.
4. Don't do it again If you are honestly ashamed of your actions, and want nothing more than to earn back your loved ones trust and rebuild your relationship. Some people think giving him sex right off the back will work.. HELL NO, put your working boots on. This will require major changes in your life to convince your partner you’re serious about repairing the damage you’ve done.

Regardless of how much remorse you feel or how willing you are to change, once your man has seen your downfall and lost trust in you, you will endure a period of sneers and jeers. So be it. Girls you remember when your man was late coming home or didn't text you all day. His efforts to win you back did work, but you will always remember what he did wrong. So understand. Self-doubt may eat at you, but if you work hard and improve, the sneers and jeers will eventually stop. The betrayal will be forgotten by him and you will begin to notice that you aren't such a deadbeat after all. So again, wipe your tears away, don't pour anymore wine, reapply some lipstick and go rescue your relationship. Good luck <3