SAY NO! Without saying no

If you're sometimes too polite or "nice", Like I am, then saying NO can be difficult at times, leaving you frustrated or even defeated.  I don't know why it's a very hard thing to do, why is saying yes always coming out of my mouth? I'm personally struggling  with it. I think it comes from just not wanting to disappoint people, fearing their reaction, or even wanting to challenge yourself. I've come to realize that saying yes at times doesn't put me in a good situation. For a quick example I'll make plans to hangout with my Mister, and I'll get a phone call from another friend, I would tell my friend that I can't talk long, I have plans. So my friend and I are talking and they talk for hours and I can't bear to tell them that I got to go so this ruins the time I should be hanging out with my mister. My voice wasn't firm, my word NO wasn't strong, leaving my mister upset and me frustrated with myself. Another moment where a guy would ask me if he can have my number. I would say I don't give my number out and the guy would push the compliment button and I'm drowned in "oh, your so beautiful" compliments. One side of my brain I'm getting all the reasons to say no, and on the other side I'm getting the, 'I can't be too mean, let me be a little nicer.' And by the end of it all, I left the guy not with my number but with a understanding that if a run in happens again, there is a possibility of handing my number over. I felt defeated and miserable. Why can I not say NO? Good thing it's a new day and I'm wanting to break out of this!!
So today I want to teach you guys that is reading this and myself How to say NO without saying no, or how to be firm in your voice with a smile.

We have to get to the bottom of this, so why do we say yes automatically? : is it their appearance? Your fear of disappointing people? If I say NO he won't like me, if I say NO they'll think I'm too busy for them. For me I have this belief that my body language means everything. No matter how soft my voice is my hands is telling you a NO. Sadly no one cares about body language lol, they care what that mouth says. Or that I can make it through it I can do everything, put as much weight on me and watch me handle it(typical Aries mind) I'll never disappoint you. THIS IS NOT THE WAY TO THINK!  Stop thinking of worse case scenario. I almost have to stop trying to please other people. Think of it as your loving yourself when you say no, it's not the end of the world, there will be more situations that you can yes to comfortably. 

Be polite when you give your answer: one of the key things that I have been trying to use, that helps give me space to think is saying, let me get back to you on that. If a something comes up where someone asks me 'hey Britt can we hangout?' Or 'can we talk tonight?' I don't have to say YES and ruin in it later with a 'uummm sorry,' and I don't have to do a flat out NO. Saying I'll get back to you gives me more time to sort out my day. And if after you give your answer and its a NO and they ask you why? You don't have to give a whole detail reason. Just say it's personal, or I'm just not feeling it this time. I like that better, since I'm really nice and don't like to seem unapproachable.

Be confident, you are WORTH IT:  I get amazed and have respect when I see some women, get ask to do something and they say "NO not right now." I'm in my head when I hear this like wow, they know their worth. They aren't being rude but assertive and yes I wish I was like that. I know I can't be as assertive as them but I can be some what of it.  You have to be confident in your self, it's your time your money your skills your energy your everything that they are asking. If I know who I am which is a fun loyal loving ride or die caring person then I'm gonna give it to those that deserve me in a good time frame so I won't seem all over the place, and lose trust. Keyword is deserve, don't give it to some person you ran into at a grocery store or a no good person. It's easy to say NO to a stranger. Remember those that respect you will understand.

If you're reading this and you have tips on how you let your yes mean yes and your no mean no, please share 
If you're reading this and you would like to share your experience and how you over came it please do! 
 I hope this little helpful list helps you and others. I'm definitely learning while typing and I'll continue to use this in any future event, so I can make a difference in me.